i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
