There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
