I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
