It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize