Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
