yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
smell my finger.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
