Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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