im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
