I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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