I'm eating all of the evidence.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
