Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
