Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
