I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
