You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
