It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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