he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I have already put on my inside pants.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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