On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
