we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
