Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize