You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
