Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
if you like me you must not know who I am
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
