If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He's on the porch naked. Help.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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