$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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