God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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