i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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