Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
