At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
