Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Pants are for mortals
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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