People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
