I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
