i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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