mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize