When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
