Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
