what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
