Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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