if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
