Non-Jews are for practice
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
