we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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