how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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