White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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