What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
