So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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