So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
