i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
