I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
