You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
