I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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