So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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