Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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