DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
