is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
God, I missed his penis.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
